Fall candles: Sure, why not

I picked a great year to start a blog about things you don’t need. The idea of updating this blog has felt like a joke and in poor taste for the past seven months, but today I woke up and felt like talking about candles, so since we are adults and capable of containing multitudes, feel free to join me.

Fall candles as a concept usually conjure up strong Christian Girl Autumn vibes, but I have a whole rotation of candles I pull out when it gets cooler that smell in no way like a Hobby Lobby. I personally avoid candles that start with a food base, so nothing pumpkin from me (although I would never scoff at your pumpkin love). What do we really want from fall but cozy decay? Celebrate death on a palatable scale! It’s not as catchy as “it’s fall, y’all” but we haven’t tried writing it yet on a framed chalkboard in that loopy, former-sorority-girl’s-kitchen cursive. (My friend Linnea calls this Live-Laugh-Love script/aesthetic “bonjour ass” and I have yet to hear a better description.)

If you’re willing to leave pumpkin spice behind, here are some candles I love:

Skandinavisk KOTO: Their website tells me that koto is Old Finnish for “home” and I’m a dumb bitch who wouldn’t know otherwise, so why fight it? This candle smells cozy as hell. This company has another candle called HYGGE and KOTO smells way more hygge to me, personally. They list its scent as “vanilla beans and dried orange peel, Baltic amber and vintage leather furniture” and I also get, not gonna lie, a tiny bit of Calvin Klein Obsession? But only the teensiest bit. In a good way. I’ve owned two of these and both burned down totally evenly with a centered wick, which is more than I can say for some other really expensive candles (looking at you, Frederic Malle). I will keep buying this again and again.

Beauty Pie Bitter Orange & Blackcurrant: I’ve mentioned this candle before: it’s the Shiv Roy of candles. This one feels a bit cooler and more restrained than the Koto candle. Similar notes, but the Koto candle is warmer and fuller. The Koto one hugs you and this one is too busy staring out a manor window at a rainy moor. Is it plotting or just moping? It’s doing whatever you want baby because it’s not a sentient being! This one is strictly October/November to me whereas Koto is Whenever It’s Cold Out. We all must live by our own personal code.

Diptyque Feu de Bois: This is the matriarch of all woodsmoke candles. Many try to mimic and some come close, but this one is the best for a reason. I feel like what it has that others lack is this little ending flourish of an uplifting, thrilling scent that I can’t identify. Lavender? Magic? I don’t know! It’s complex and not just HERE IS A FIRE THAT BURNED OUT. The scent also lingers a long time, and the throw is terrific.

Byredo Peyote Poem: Years ago, before we knew how awful Johnny Depp was and he just seemed like an anti-aging rich hippie who dressed like Snoopy’s cousin Spike, my friend Antonia and I joked that this candle smelled like Johnny Depp’s balls. The lady behind the perfume counter at Liberty took a whiff and had to agree. I’m struggling to cast a new, non-problematic person in that role — maybe I’m too old and jaded now to think that highly of a famous person’s scrotum. It smells dark and sexy and (I hate this word, especially combined with sexy) intoxicating. The full size of this baby costs $85 but Antonia bought me the 3 oz. votive size years ago and half an inch of wax remains at the bottom. I keep it on my desk and huff it when stressed or, if I’m feeling precious, heat it up on my desktop coffee warmer. I will never throw this little jar away.

Beauty Pie Leather, Violet Leaves & Labdanum: I’m not going to pretend like I already knew what labdanum is. I’ve always felt like the mark of a truly worth-it fancy restaurant is when every dish has one ingredient that I’m like “huh, no idea.” This rule sometimes applies to candles, but not always because candle makers and marketers live to bullshit. Anyway, I googled labdanum and it’s basically resin. This candle smells like you buried your face in J.R. Ewing’s leather office sofa — possibly a very specific and generational kink. It’s not for always or for everyone, but it’s nice.

Redwood + Co. Base Camp: I actually bought this scent in the Room & Linen Spray late last winter and I’m going to repurchase as a candle this fall. It comes in a variety of items and it smells sweeter than a typical woodsmoke candle; deep and rich and genuinely Northern Californian. It also seems like a scent that a lot of people would like. I’d feel comfortable giving this as a gift, which is rare because scent is usually so personal and particular. You could give this to your aunt who likes sugar cookie candles as well as your adult goth friend. I’ve tried other scents from the company and this one is definitely my favorite. Not to be too forward, but it’s probably yours too.

CB I Hate Perfume Burning Leaves Home Spray: Not into candles but still want your home to smell like romantic decay? You need this. The CB I Hate Perfume shop used to be in Williamsburg and was my personal Wonka factory. Christopher Brosius is a magician. He’s the nose that started Demeter Fragrances 25 years ago and still effortlessly nails scents others try but could never, like Wet Mitten and London Pavement. I have several of his scents and home sprays and have repurchased Burning Leaves many times over the years. It comes as both a personal scent or a home scent, which I love. And if you truly can’t experience fall without the smell of pumpkin pie, he’s got you covered there too.