The best comforter in the world

A few months back we were on the search for a new duvet and man, that can become a real journey into the dark night of the bougie soul real fast if you let it. (Side note: do you say comforter or duvet? I used to say comforter but have become a duvet person, I think due to my husband. I tend to think of a comforter as a bedspread that you don’t put a cover on, like it’s already printed with flowers or stripes or god forbid, both, whereas a duvet is the fluffy plain white insert.) So yes, a real researcher of a purchase. So many preferences to cross-reference! Do you like down or are you allergic; do you sleep hot or cold; are you happy with your choices in life thus far because look at where they’ve brought you. Our previous duvet was a wedding present, chosen blind from the Macys website 48 hours before our wedding day under threat from my mother. Amazingly that worked out because it was perfect when we received it, but we’ve been married for almost ten years and it recently became pretty flat and featherless. I tried to trawl the internet for our old wedding registry to just re-buy the previous one but they don’t even make it anymore, so the hunt was on.

First of all, it’s a very expensive hunt, and I’d like to thank my aunt once again for the extremely nice wedding present. It’s not custom-framing expensive, where you can either frame an old off-size concert poster or send your child to college, but it definitely has the potential to become A Purchase. I had to double-check all our specifications and preferences with reviews and prices, and then ordered a few that we tried and sent back (including the Snowe one everyone loves), but we finally found the one, and it’s so good. Hnnnnngggghhhh! SO GOOD. We’ve had it for two months and every night before falling asleep, one of us will still say, “God, I love this duvet.” I catch myself missing it during the day – in a wistful way, not a depressing way. Would it be weird to keep a framed photo of my duvet on my desk to look at lovingly during long conference calls? Yes, it definitely would.

When am I going to shut up and just link to the duvet? In the next paragraph. But I wanted to specify that we prefer down, not down-alternative, and a lighter weight/warmth. We’re both hot sleepers, and we don’t live in a super cold climate. But we both also love a poofy bed. I want to feel like a child tucked into some Narnian giant’s bed who’s pretending to be nice in order to fatten me up for a feast, but also not wake up sweaty. This meant a lot of disappointments from highly-rated internet-darling comforters that felt too thin or too cold. But this one is a huge, fluffy, cartoon-looking marshmallow cloud that warms you up instantly but never feels hot or heavy. How dare this fucking duvet do it all! But it does. It also makes a very muffled crackly-smoosh sound (forgive all this industry jargon) sometimes when you turn over or fold it. I’ve read reviews of comforters where people complained about the sound of light rustling but I personally find it immensely satisfying. I want my lightweight Narnian giant blanket to be thick enough to register audibly! I’m not into ASMR but this duvet delivers it.

The one we eventually found and love – its full Christian name is the Calvin Klein Light Warmth Down Full/Queen Comforter, Premium White Down Fill, 100% Cotton Cover, First of Her Name – turned out to be CRAZY expensive, but the catch is that it’s available at Macy’s, and the Macy’s business model seems to be Always Be Having A Sale Shit I Don’t Know Just Mark It Down Donna! Its regular price is a stomach-turning FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY DOLLARS, but only a sucker would pay that, especially since Macy’s has a sale like every three days. We got ours for a very reasonable $169. It’s on sale right now (until March 1) for $203. Who knows what magic number it will be in a week or two.

Does it feel like a $480 comforter? I don’t know what a $480 comforter would even begin to feel like; I’ve never stayed in a hotel that fancy or had a friend with parents that crazy. It definitely felt better than the $250 comforters we tried. With the others, we fluffed them out and laid there for a bit going, “This seems nice?” and “I don’t know, is it warm enough?” But the second we got under this baby, we both groaned, “Ohhhhh yeah, this is it.” Maybe that’s what $480 feels like.